Asterios breaks bad, a hot new excuse for not working out, I have a lousy gay date, the cigarette economy, Asterios is texting too many millennials, a cucking in progress, and the world’s first trillion dollar idea: Porn Savers; all this and more on this month’s Bonus Episode of The Dick Show!
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Which topic should @asterios and I cover on this Monday's bonus episode of The Dick Show?
— Dick Masterson (@dickmasterson) October 21, 2016
At long last, I bring in the biggest solution in the universe. A trillion dollar idea that will be change the world more than television, assembly line production, fire, and the handshake rolled into one. This is the Oculus Rift killer. I call it “the second cellphone” and it will be the foundation of a new economy, not one based on money or labor or your stupid collection of short stories, but an economy based on pornography. Of course, I am talking about Porn Savers.
We are in the stone age of pornography. Like a blind squirrel trying to find their nut in the dark, wading through hundreds of internet tabs, beset on all sides by ads telling you that your dick isn’t big enough, and trying to scam you into talking to “local girls” who are definitely Russian men trying to steal your credit card.
Enough is enough.
Imagine if Skynet was not only your friend, but also your pornography consigliere. Imagine if your pornography experience improved with or without you. Imagine a world where you never had to worry about opening your laptop in a coffee shop again, where the volume was always off, and you got a heads when your girlfriend was coming home without having to ask her a weird question about it that sounds suspicious as hell.
Welcome to a world with Porn Savers.
Porn Savers, it’s a trillion dollar invention, and on behalf of all of The Dick Show Patreonis, I am giving it away to the citizens of Earth for free.
Then, Internet funnyman Asterios Kokkinos stops by on his whirlwind tour of the Los Angeles podcast scene to promote his book Toys “4” Cheap.
Finally, a fan calls in to get advice on a delicate but urgent situation: a cucking in progress. What can he do to stop his girlfriend from hanging out with a guy who wants to bang her? I know what you’re thinking, just break up with her. But there’s a twist: she’s insanely hot. Just how hot? You’ll have to listen to find out.
Is our advice as great as the idea of Porn Savers? Or is it as stupid as the idea of Porn Savers? Let me know in the comments below.
Girthy thumbnail by Maximum Panic! Check out his live stream to see how the sausage is made.