Dick Masterson, Author at The Dick Show

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I am confronted for not wearing a mask, Screwy Louie comes in to talk about the virgin contest, MC Jarbo talks about his new album, “Chronicles of a Cuck”, Poe’s Law, the white trash cycle, deer-kin, fat moms, the mental patients who run the world, how to be a finance, an army of contact tracers, The Fed starts buying ETFs, the THOT Patroler, the new Black Cat, sick health officials, and how to make a non-racist AI; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Poe's Law Host of Digital Blackface. Twitter	Is a Rage! Not a Rage.
Screwy Louie Wishes he had a deeper voice.	Is a Rage! Not a Rage.
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It’s banned on BandCamp, Spotify, and the sub continent, but the MC Jarbo album “Chronicles of a Cuck” is still available at mcjarbo.com for the way-too-low price of $6.99! Get it today before you listen to MC Jarbo’s call-in. Never in my life would I have imagined an entire musical software suite would be developed just to make fun of a guy, but here we are. Imagine our potential if we didn’t dedicate our lives to petty revenge and one-upmanship. If we worked together for a greater good instead of the greater laugh. The world would be everything the ADL dreamed. So if you hate the ADL, get this album today! But first…

The story of Job goes thusly.

Once there was a man who believed in God. So Satan tricked God into killing his family and burning his house down; casting a pestilence over his crops and bringing a famine to his land. Opening up his borders with other lands and off-shoring manufacturing to eviscerate his middle class, centralizing the ownership of gold and accepting taxes only in a debt-based fiat currency that a democratically-elected governing body had access to print more of. God then limited the number of the governing body making them lords over fiefdoms of the retarded. Subsidies washed over the land, 90% of women had an OnlyFans account and 100% of them were overweight, men fucking loved science and Funko Pops and apologizing. The WWF became the WWE. Deer-men and whores cybernetically controlled all expression. The old trained the young to eat one another and the world was plunged into a perpetual state of crisis and death.

“There!” said God, “Job still believes in me after everything I’ve done!”

“Do you?” said Satan.

The lockdown is over because enough people have decided that it is, and that means the time for premature celebration is at hand! The I told you so’s come first.

I told you this virus wasn’t that big of a deal. It killed old people and not very many of them. Second wave? Don’t make me laugh because if I start now, I might never stop. This lockdown has made me insane. I told you the government would roll out a system of tyrannical overreach and permanently erode our Civil Liberties. Contact tracing? Warrantless web history searches? Immunity microchips that chicks can scan to see your dick size? Welcome to the prison planet! Your neighbors are your wardens and Trump is building a wall to keep everyone in. I told you no one would feel stupid for any of this.

And thank God no one feels stupid, because that’s when the real lockdowns would start. The Goldilocks Zone between moral clarity and the great towering inferno of righteous morality that threatens at any moment to destroy the world to cover up the shame. The uncomfortable chuckle that says a roast is about to go too far. That’s the sweet spot.

But back to celebrating prematurely. Nature is healing, and so is the human spirit! We will find new friends! Like minded individuals who want to be left alone. We will have a head start to reshape the world while the mask people stay hunkered down in their toilet paper forts and news bulletins. We will upgrade our bodies and terrify the good and decent. We will tear down laminated signs that tell us where to sit and how to stand. We will throw the warning plaques and throw caution tape to the wind. We will trade our subsidies for cryptocurrency. We will beat our wardens to death and we will throw grandma from an incredible height into a plague volcano.

We’ve got about 6 months on the morons. Cars are going to get dirt cheap and then houses are going to follow. Screen cap it!

“Epic Dick Show Remix” by Rodney Phillips.