Dick Masterson, Author at The Dick Show

Download the MP3 | Watch the Video

Losing your mo-ho, Dogecoin is for retards and con artists, a big fat Playboy centerfold, a driving while black VR simulator, Disney cis-cesses, birds attacking my car, guns vs. tasers, the Brony slayer, people who enjoyed lockdown, Destination Alaska wedding, doubling hate crimes, catfishing pedophiles as Elliot Rodgers for fun and profit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Catfish Ninja Selling vomit. Catfishing pedophiles for fun and profit.	Is a Rage! Not a Rage.
Vito A typical neckbeard. The guy who vaped Belle Delphine's bathwater.	Is a Rage! Not a Rage.
See All Co-Hosts

Are you registered for The Dick Show Weight Loss Contest for Big Fat Fucks at fat.dick.show? If you’re not, register now. If you are, go log in and do your weigh in, you big fat fuck! But first…

Happy $DOGE Day! It has a dog on it!

Did you miss the meteoric rise of Bitcoin and Ethereum and Chainlink and every other altcoin/shitcoin under the sun that at least have proposed use cases and/or theoretical valuations? Are disrupting financial industries not ironic enough for you? Well don’t worry, you’re actually just in time for the investment opportunity of this year! It’s called $DOGE. It’s a Bitcoin. It’s a shitcoin. It has a dog on it!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. How much money will I make?

Great question for a smart investor and it’s also easy to answer. How much money do you want to make?

See, this isn’t just any cryptocurrency. It’s a cryptocurrency that’s exclusively for morons. Morons who want easy money, morons who missed not just one boat, but like twelve boats, and most importantly, morons who will do anything Elon Musk and some fucking porn star tells them to do. To drive the price up, all you have to do is find a moron and tell them to buy. Tell a moron, morons tell morons, meme it, dream it. It has a dog on it!

Question. What if they run out of $DOGE before I can buy any?

That’s exactly the kind of stupid fuck question a $DOGE buyer would ask. Number one, that’s not how it works, and number two, no need to worry because there’s no cap on $DOGE coins. There can be an infinity amount! And they all have dogs on them!

Buy today. Talk about it all day every fucking day. Be proud of stupid decisions as long as they make money like a typical retard. Gamble with a system. Buy a timeshare. Get big on Twitch. Double your money every time you lose. Look at my Instagram. It has a dog on it!