Episode 141 – Dick on Learning to Code


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This episode is being simulcast onto the new Patreon platform. Wow!

Not enough chip clips, bad times at a monster truck rally, I launch my Patreon alternative, Mumkey Jones talks about concern trolls and Alex Jones, Wilt Chamberlain is the first winner of the Virgin Contest, rebuilding every building in America, Dickhead spends $1,000 on his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day and how not to do that, a gay relationship query, Asterios is at the Tennessee Dickhead film festival, a fistful of earplugs, science kills, a Dickhead gets fired for spicy Tweets, and Saudi Arabia in Silicon Valley; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Mumkey Jones
Elliot Rodgers approved, part man, part mask, a very famous Videos, doesn't go anywhere without his dakimakura. Twitter.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Gabe
Fired from the Luxe Lounge over spicy Tweets. Very probably gay oppery is the cause.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Dave "The Shitty Musician"
We've all been there. God bless this guy for calling in. Excuse me, Dave! I'm sorry.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
See All Co-Hosts

If you’re going to be in Los Angeles March 2nd for the Magic the Gathering: Gran Prix tournament (or for any other reason), why not come to The Dick Show presents the Magic the Gathering: Grand Pricks tournament as well! Draft with Dickheads and draughts and try to keep your cards from getting wet one night only at the Art’s District Brewing Co. Downtown. Your ticket pays for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge–the back edge…Buy Tickets!

But first…

It took me a couple weeks and probably 2,001 lines of code, but my Patreon alternative is now open. Someone needed to make one, so I did. Because I’m tired of so many people’s lives resting in the pasty hands of faceless costumer service NPCs, and they do! It’s not just Sargon who’s been banned from Patreon. It’s Wormwood, it’s Stonetoss, it’s creator’s accounts getting flagged for no discernible reason–or at least any reason that would make sense to a player character. It’s a government by book club and the Silicon Valley PTA that now controls our lives. And more if not most importantly, the idea that people are required even partially to subsidize the excesses of Silicon Valley simply by supporting their favorite creators makes me sick. It’s like if the US Government forced tax payers to support abortions even if they were morally opposed to them! Could you imagine the outrage?

I don’t want people to have to support a platform who engages in political activism that harms its customers. And Patreon does that. They all do that. YouTube, Google, et al, they all do it. They shutdown accounts first and ask questions later. I will not do that. They give vague reasons for banning or suspending their creators–the people who make their lives and pretend business possible–I will not do that. They employ a cult of ass-kissy PR droids who stage events and seminars and expos and conferences designed to sucker new creators into their minimum wage combine and milk them for 10%. I will not do that.

Patreon recently announced that even by generously giving their creators 90% of the take–a phrasing which betrays the entitled misunderstanding Patreon has with it’s creators and their customers, one which they have always shown–they are still struggling. This is after pulling down $55 million for what amounts to a paywalled bulletin board. This is absurd. I won’t be hiring anyone who lives in San Francisco and I won’t be taking any VC money because it’s the devil. If you’re a creator who has been financially harmed by Patreon or if you’re a supporter looking for an alternative that isn’t itching to torch people’s incomes over hurt feelings, check out NewProject2.com. Don’t like the name? Blame Notch.

I don’t know what will happen with it. Maybe it will fizzle out because people don’t really care. Maybe the bank will shut it down because historically they’re in the business of taking people’s houses, and not promoting commerce. Maybe it will be a big hit and I’ll sell it to Saudi Arabia and go into hiding, reviled by the Internet I duped out of their dreams. What I know is, when Lior Lessor came on the show to discuss his FTC filing against PayPal and Patreon, he said people are always complaining about things, but eventually, someone who can do something actually has to do something to fix it. This is what I can do. I can’t bring any companies down. I can’t sic the government on anyone like Ian Miles Cheong did, but I can help to whittle away at the war chest, so that when the day of the rope comes for the technocrats, they can’t afford as much stool as they used to.

“Let Me In, M’Lady” by the Hard Men Working Hard.

“Cuck Stuff” by Cuck Bizkit.

Dick Pics

Thumbnail that you paid full price for, but only need the edge, by HeHeSillyComics.

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