Episode 9 – Dick on the DNC

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Denzel Walkes
The other, other Denzel.

Marijuana Laws, Modern Dating, Losing
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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The podcast helps someone become an astronaut, gummy vitamins make me a rage, the DNC turns me into an evil Care Bear, Denzel has an alcohol opportunity, Tylre Perri’s Black Out, and Dustin gets into reddit drama. All this and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

If you’re looking for a daily supplement that will provide you a moderate amount of required vitamins and minerals, but will cost you your soul, you’re in luck! Target has an entire wing dedicated to the latest in regressive development: Gummy Vitamins. I don’t need a stats to tell me that handfuls of chewable candies are bad for your teeth. If you abuse children’s vitamins, consider the world your building: one where tax returns look like the kid’s menu at the Olive Garden and where abortions are performed by jackasses in Spongebob costumes.

Are you listo for a season of shamelesss political Hispandering? I know I’m listo. I’m listo for whatever Tim Kaine, Hillary Clinton, and the rest of the DNC quieren to empujan down my throat over the next 100 days. I comment briefly on the DNC and try to convince Denzel that Trump is a messiah sent by the Lord Almighty to rid the GOP of His poisonous influence forever. Was I listo?

Denzel brings in Last Call and in response, we form the first ever caucus for the Liquor Party, the libertarian political party that is conservative economically, progressive socially, and seeks to end un-American drinking laws. Without even looking it up, I’m sure we’re not the strangest off-shoot Libertarian party that exists. But are we listo?

Putting his pen where his mouth is, Denzel Walkes also brings in the beginnings of his blockbuster movie, which he claims will be better than both Hangover 2 and Hangover 3. It’s called “The Long Con” and it includes sexy cosplay and Mexican drug dealers. I think the title is a little too much of a thinker, but what do I listo. In response, I team up with Asterios to bring in a competing movie treatment of our own: a Blaxploitation version of Hangover called Black Out…Tylre Perri’s Black Out. Was it listo? No it was not. Asterios hands in half a treatment, but you’ll have to listen to find out why.

Finally, Dustin Siniawa brings in more questions from Dickheads on Facebook and also comments on the recent reddit drama surrounding him. And when I say “comments on”, I mean “gets talked over by me for most of the time”. I say this in as much sincerity as I can emulate based on what I’ve seen on television, of everyone involved in the podcast every week, Dustin is the only one who is truly listo, and I appreciate it.

Now here’s some disgusting Sean fan art that is definitely not listo.

Hayden Blaise @Ashanmaril
Hayden Blaise
@Ashanmaril

See you next Tuesday!

dick-grin

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Gummies

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