Bonus Episode 2 – Dick on Tyra and The Greatest Text

b-2-shoplifting

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Denzel is back, my Life Coach is back, Sean is back, Dustin is back, baby got back–and that “baby” is Tyra Banks who I’m 100% sure wanted to bang me when I was on her show in 2008. All this and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

I finish my David vs. Fat-liath Dicktale of being on Dr. Phil, leading me into my time on The Tyra Banks show, which I went on whilst taking an experimental “concentration drug” also known as amphetamines.

It was a different time in 2008, the day before an historic election that no one could shut the fuck up about. The world’s opinion of America was at an all-time high, our economy had never been stronger, and our health care system was nearly perfect–not quite perfect, but nearly there. That was all about to change as a firebrand senator from Illinois by the name of Barack Hussein Obama swept the country with his incendiary rhetoric of “transparency in government”, “improved race relations”, and an end to “military adventurism”. No one knew what the “Obama-calypse” would bring, but we all knew you couldn’t step ten feet without hearing about it.

Dustin Siniawa calls in with some Dick Tip requests and gives us a preview of his man-on-the-street interviews with Trump protesters. My Life Coach and I talk about building guns, our favorite types of lifting: both shop and the regular kind. Denzel tests some bootleg moonshine sent in by Uncle Buck. Everyone answers the question “What is the best text to receive?”, and Dustin makes peace with long-time show instigator George Sears. Will the peace last? Find out next week on The Dick Show!

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Shoplifting

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Author: Dick Masterson

Host of The Dick Show.