Episode 116 – Dick on The Stolen RSS Feed

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The story of how Maddox lost his RSS feed, more chat leaks, Dame Pesos reads a dramatic re-enactment, Fast Pass, the new Star Tours, and other ways in which Disneyland has been made even more worse than hell, the Great Magnet, the MtG: Grand Pricks tournament, not-so-super glue, women and their garbage-selling parties, one-note jokesters, Hazencruz vs. The Cuck Sockers, The Laughing Loser, shooting turtles, my white father, how to spot a fake Mexican, and the winner of the Super Podcast Championship Edition Turbo; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Dame Pesos
Host of the "Soyless Matt Show" - Archive.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Allan from Not For Human Consumption
Provider of the Asterios Pukes audio. Co-host of Not For Human Consumption.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Erik Wong
Too sexy for MtG, as Chinese as Grand Panda.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
See All Co-Hosts

The first ever Super Podcast Championship Edition Turbo–the contest that pits two podcasts against one another in a battle of wits and shouting to see who earns the prize of joining the distinguished See You Next Tuesday Podcast Network–has drawn to a close. After a grueling battle of Tweets between The Thought Cops and Not For Human Consumption, and after one million votes, we have what appears to be an exact tie!

Or else someone implemented some very shitty security and vote tampering measures on their $30,000 website. Either way, I have no choice but to grant a victory to both shows and considering their contributions to everything that is The Dick Show, I can’t think of a better outcome. Thanks to everyone who voted, and especially thank you to the mysterious and anonymous “571972” who claims to have voted more than once–much more, but I’ll have more on that next week. Meanwhile, make sure you check out cunt.media for the latest additions to the C.U.N.T. Podcasting Network. It’s a terrific site, and it cost nothing to make, but first…

Some people are calling it the Dick Jacking, some people are calling it the greatest troll of all time–and I think they’re right, and some people are just calling it an average Tuesday on The Dick Show. All I know is, for the past week I’ve been walking around wondering why I haven’t moved on to the spirit world yet like those ghosts in Lord of the Rings, or Bruce Willis at the end of The Sixth Sense, or that guy who squirted Tom Cruise in the face with a water gun disguised as fake microphone at the premier of War of the Worlds, because there’s clearly nothing left for me in this world. In this episode, I explain what happened with Maddox’s stolen iTunes feed, both his stealing of it from me and how I reclaimed it last week in the name of all that is good and spiteful. There’s more to the story of course, but the important take-away is: only be as dishonest as you are clever, don’t ever let one outpace the other, and learn to know the difference, or else you will look stupid.

If you didn’t hear the episode when it was first aired, someone has reposted it on SoundCloud:

Next, here is the leaked chat log I was sent following the infamous Episode 113 of The Best Debate in the Universe. If you or someone you know is holding onto Maddox chat logs, send them to me and I will make fun of them. If you have any chat logs wherein Maddox explicitly talks about The Lolsuit and how it will affect Asterios’ job (which I know he did!), also send them in. That stupid failure deserves to fry for it in the pits of Malicious Prosecution for his sins against comedy and employment.

This week we also have two identical cover songs submitted by The Cuck Sockers and Hazencruz. Two identical covers with a slightly different flavor, but who’s is superior? In a new Dick Show tradition, I’d like everyone to vote on your favorite cover by heading over to madcastmedia.com, finding episode 114 and voting as follows:

We’ll tally your votes next week to see which version reigns supreme; the bombastic supergroup or the musical auteur.

“All Star Cuck” by The Cuck Sockers

“Blockstar” by Hazencruz

And “A Good Week” by Myroom Records.

Here’s the big tits video 80s Girl sullying my otherwise wholesome trip to Disneyland. Those are some M-class planets I’d like to take my droid on a Star Tour of any space-day if you know what I’m talking about. I’d like to supernova a cluster of dark matter all over those asteroids if you catch my meaning. My brown dwarf is space-rocking into a raging pulsar thinking about ejecting Hawking radiation between these binary moons if you understand what I’m telling you.

Also, here are some flattering pics from the MtG: Grand Pricks last Saturday night. Thanks for coming, everyone!

MtG: Grand Pricks

A post shared by Dick Masterson (@thedickshow) on

Finally, I’ve got a stats for you covering the most recent episode of “The Best Debate in the Universe” and some leading up to the Dick Jacking. I have many more like it showing a gradual decline, but this one is interesting in particular as it paints a particularly dismal picture, which is, no one is listening to the Best Debate. No one. Go back to writing, Maddox. You have failed in this arena. No one likes your grating, pompous-ass voice. No one likes your dopey, inexpressive face. No one likes your fake radio persona. Just quit. Or keep embarrassing yourself like this. We’re all laughing at it.

And here’s some amazing artwork by HeHeSillyComics, Wormwood, and Really Good Comics.

Thumbnail dedicated to sportsmanship, both good and bad, by Nope.wmv.