Episode 142 – Dick on The Butt Conspiracy

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Hate crimes and hoaxes, corporate cute-speak, kiwis are bad for you, hearing your heartbeat in your ear when you’re trying to go to sleep, Roosh V calls in to school virgins, Cernovich takes an interest in the countersuit, my time between two Cliff Clavins, the war against AI in war, buying pillows, the globalist conspiracy of population control that is butt saturation, and Road Rage: Austrlia is booked; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Kian Magaña
Hero. [email protected]
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Crippled Jesus
Very insensitive.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Civilized barbarian. Author. Banned from the Common Wealth.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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Road Rage: Australia has been unlocked! Grab your boomerangs and your koala bears and your boxing gloves and your kangaroos; man your spatulas and learn how to start your fires, the Dick Show is going to Australia! Officially. The venues have been booked in a tremendous and international effort, the time is being requested off as we speak, and the apologies to Dickhead who are not in Sydney and Melbourne have already begun.

Road Rage: Australia is heading to Melbourne on April 12th and Sydney on the 20th. That’s a two-fer. You gotta do ’em both. Tickets will go on sale this week. If you’re a Patreon or a Dick Show Premium, keep your eye on your email. I’m hoping to have them up for sale either today or tomorrow. But first…

We’ve reached peak conspiracy; the heat death of the logical universe as reason accelerates in all directions as fast as possible until the fabric of our effective reality is stretched beyond use or recognition. The void between any two observers filling with nonsense faster than it can be unthought to feed the cybernetically enhanced leviathan of the self. Maybe there is still a wrinkle of non-post modernist truth somewhere left–a nugget to be chewed out, but I doubt it. Hate lurks in every shadow, butts are an illuminati plot for effective population control, we live in a computer simulation of Zeno’s Paradox.

It starts and ends with butts.

We didn’t land on the moon. That much is obvious. And the Earth is flat. But did you also know that Columbus didn’t actually discover America? He found a faster trading route to the Indies and the government wanted to cover it up. It’s true! In fact, America and India are the same continent and everything else is a media fabrication. Thailand is what’s known as Baja in California and Mumbai is also commonly referred to as Panorama City, that much is obvious if you’ve ever been to both.

Vaccines are bad, air travel is a necessary evil, and actually, fire is itself inherently sexist and racist. Just look at the stats and you’ll find this to be the case. The government needs to do something about it. And elephants don’t even walk. They actually float a few inches above the ground and the movement they do with their legs that resembles walking is done to push themselves through the air. Now I’ve seen everything.

It’s fun to come up with bullshit, and to be the bearer of bullshit and a purveyor of bullshit. But I think we’re tapped out. We’ve uninvented everything and folded aggression itself onto itself eight times. I’m worried for future generations and the lack of conspiracy they have yet to uncover.

Thankfully, I believe computers will lead the way in this area. Enormous farms of machines churning and folding data, discovering new colors (in the quantum sense) of racism, new genders and -phorias to dis, inventing and reinventing reality, customizing victimhood for each individual user in their own individual world in a singularity of conspiracy and hate and bullshit. Altering permanently the concept of self until it’s no longer us vs. them, but me vs. God. But what then?

See? It starts and ends with but’s.

“Maddox And Dick Masterson (Alexander Hamilton Parody)” by Hisoka.

Dick Pics

Thumbnail that you can’t touch or it’s mother won’t take it back by Wormwood!