Episode 179 – Dick on Breaking the Bank

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The banks shut me down, another warning from Patreon, QR codes, lesbian art shows, how to party during Daylight Savings Time, the limits of what is not gay, FWB contracts, how to have anal, John McAfee calls in about getting arrested, shooting guns, whales, and his new crypto exchange, Veronica LaVery is in-studio, emojis are replaced by pod Ellens, more stories from the front of the Alphabet War, and Shirley from Dr. Phil Calls in to talk about her lawsuit the deleted the tapes–which are now recovered; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

John McAfee
Presidential candidate. Twitter.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Shirley Deiu
Former houseguest with me on the Dr. Phil "House of Judgement". Author of "Memphis Mafia Princess: Living in the Elvis World"
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Veronica LaVery
Playmate. Banned from Instagram. I meant to ask about the panties store. Dammit! YouTube
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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The banks have closed me down; one after the next, even as I so graciously and unwillingly contributed financially to their past bail outs. Oh well! I guess she’s just not that into you, I would say. She being the financial institution. The crisp and new checks. The pamphlets of documents that once held the precious optimism and promise of adventure to come. Garbage now. All of them. Bullshit and numbers printed on paper for fun by adults playing business.

I don’t have much time for a write-up today because I’m putting all my time into getting re-banked–which I am. I walked out of a fourth-generational, family-owned bank in Chinatown yesterday (the enemy of my enemy) with a new folder of numbers and fees and bylaws and stock photography. The newness of it was gone. The smile and optimism gone. There was an aquarium in the lobby, but I’ll talk about that next week. But first…

John McAfee calls in from an undisclosed location to give his account of being arrested in the Dominican Republic for an illegal weapons charge–and also whale fucking and the McAfeeDex, his brand new decentralized cryptocurrency exchange. He also has some new advice for the virgins.

Shirley Deiu calls in from her grandson’s birthday to talk about Dr. Phil, her lawsuit against CBS, and Elvis Presley. It was a blast from the past and I hope you enjoy that call as much as I did.

And now I go, to fill out forms and act surprised that I have to do this and to apologize over and over and over until someone promises to leave me and my money and your money alone. The Outlaw life is non-committal. He has a bank account in every town. The benchmarks of life are a continuum to him. The process is meta. The numbers don’t mean anything. All these things are a game. Outlaw life is a contest.

“Fat Idiot” by The Hard Men Working Hard.

Some really amazing Dick pics this week:

A thumbnail in support of mental wellness by HeHeSilly.