Buying a bed, getting beaten by a girl, Denise McAllister on “What Men Want to Say About Women (But Can’t)”, period warnings, thinking is white supremacy, giving money to the homeless, getting someone’s kid taken away, a guy who got Red Flagged for a Joker meme, #InternationalMensDay, more on Destiny’s polyamory, viral loads, and things filled all the way to the top on everything; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.
Author “What Men Want to Say to Women (But Can’t)”—link in pinned tweet. Coauthor New York Times Bestseller “Spygate”
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Also today–or what the hell, let’s make it the whole week, Road Rage shirts are 50% off! Pick one up today! But first…
If I had a Baby Yoda, I would throw him straight in the garbage.
I’d be willing to bet that somewhere in the universe there is faster than light travel. And also that there are Borgs and stuff like that. Probably some aliens are playing Burnsball or some Rick and Morty equivalent that includes shoving asses up other asses or shoving celebrity guests up their own ass–Rick and Morty sucks. That’s easy stuff! But, in ten million years and in ten million light years or parsecs or whatever you want to call them, I do not believe a Gina Carrano is beating up a Boba Fett.
Nope. I don’t think so, Tim.
Hyperdrive? Yeah, totally. Definitely, everyone wants to be a hyperdrive. Love it. Go fast. Fuck traffic. Escape from assholes and cops. Slap a PIG right on their coffee and throw it in their face and then hyperdrive the fuck away from all consequences.
Baby Yoda? Sure. Guy’s fifty years old and he’s a baby. Whatever. Fuck it. I’m 40, and I still feel like a baby. Does Baby Yoda buy Funko Pop figures? Absolutely. That asshole has a whole ship full of them. Not alL spEciES mAtuRE At THe SaME rATe. Thanks, popsicle stick. Got any more biological brain busters for us? I get it. Love it.
Boba Fett getting beat up by a woman? Nope. I don’t think so, Tim.
Is this shit allowed in Islam? For some reason, I don’t think it is. I don’t think you have to sit in a theater in Islam and watch a woman celebrity beat up a Boba Fett. Punching him, in his helmet, which is bouncing off laser blasts and is made from those metal Star Wars bars that are heavy as fuck–and he never takes it off. That’s the fucking helmet a chick without gloves is just punching like she’s Joe Biden fixing domestic violence, and then just continuing on as though it is not an affront to the Lord. Okay.
I grew up being told every fucking day not to hit a woman, or else it seemed like it. I don’t know why. I never did hit one. No one ever thought of it. One time, a woman was trying to take my tennis racket away from me in PE class in third grade because I wouldn’t let her cut in line. I suppose what she was doing one might call “flirting”, but it’s really just behaving like a manic cunt in the midst of an attention harvest. I saw through it.
I didn’t want to get into whole thing with her, so I just let go of the racket. I have a little sister. I know how they are. Well, she yanked on it and hit herself in the head, and did anyone believe that story?
I don’t think so, Tim. I had to run laps until the bell rang. So fuck Gina Carano and fuck the Mandalorian. That show sucks. Fuck Baby Yoda. I would punt him straight into space if I had a Baby Yoda. I would hyperspace straight into a Planned Parenthood. Fuck you.
Thumbnail of G-g-gigantic proportions by HeHeSillyComics.