Episode 216 – Dick on Victim Envy

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Trigger discipline and the first rule of guns, the failures of ranked choice voting, the racism of color blindness, Kiwi Chris is a free man, abortions vs. $100 Chili’s gift cards, Frank Hassle survives a knife assault, Big Herpes, Null on Islamic law, a woman “beefs” with her boyfriend about laundry, imaginary COVID deaths, Chris Evans tries to chase a little boy’s clout, and Vito’s cowardice; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Frank Hassle
People Enthusiast/Sissy Hypnotist. Bitchute Gumroad
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Owner/Admin of Kiwi Farms, Former 8chan dev, Advocate of not fucking up.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
A typical neckbeard. The guy who vaped Belle Delphine's bathwater.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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Have you always wondered what the classic movie The Predator would be like with kids, empowered women, and forced diversity? If you have, join Vito, Sean, and me, as we harness the power of autism and save the future with The Predator (2018). This movie is fucking terrible and I hate everyone in it. I hate the Lady Predator–which they never admit is The Predator’s wife–I hate their weird space dogs, I hate the “Loonies” and their fake-ass Tourette’s Syndrome, I hate the main guy. This movie is a homoerotic snuff film, I cannot be talked about it that. Anyway, check out our The Predator (2018) movie commentary track at Patreon.com/TheDickShow today! But first…

Were you or someone you love not subject to a tragedy, atrocity, or inhuman act of cruelty? Have you had nothing but opportunity and fortune unwillingly thrust upon you for your entire life? Have you yearned for even a twinge of oppression or suffering? Is your privilege dragging you down? If so, have I got news for you! Introducing, Cry Camp! The number one vacation destination for the modern man, where we give you something to cry about!

First, you’ll be welcomed into your week-long fantasy excursion with our friend and family death simulator. Boy will they feel sorry for you when news of the untimely passing of one of your friends or family members reaches you at our orientation ceremony. Post as many heartfelt memories onto social media as you want, try to out-do your friends! Everything you do online at Cry Camp is safe and private thanks to our self-contained, simulated Inturnet, where we put the you in “Internet”. Was it cancer? A violent accident? Maybe something Trump-related? Who cares what the logic is, our camp counsellors will be on hand to assume the role of your remaining friends and family to get the pity machine rolling.

And that’s not all! While you’re grieving, we’ll be constructing your own personal simulated victimization. Everything from Almost Raped to Zionist take-over, you’ll be able to project your personal failures and lack of discipline onto an imaginary entity. Does that sting? Great! That means the fake victimization is just getting started. Check out any one of these exciting options:

Super 9/11 Turbo Extreme
H1-Coronabolaswinefluenza Outbreak
Custom Body Dysmorphia
Full-immersion Racism
Gender Goldilocks
The Rape Contest
GamerGate 2.0

And don’t worry, if that sounds overwhelming, that just means its working. Counsellors will be on hand to teach you how to think about yourself at all times.

You’ll enjoy five-star meals at Center Cry Camp where you can trade in your Sympathy Coins–the true currency of the 21st centry–for some of the finest and most oppressed cuisine in the world. Try your hand at archery and arts and crafts, and cram platitudes down your fucking throat like the pig you are, culminating in a camp-wide audio/visual presentation of the struggles you’ve faced, the likes you’ve harvested, and the amazing success of the GoFundMe you’ve been pimping the entire time. Of course it’s not real money, but isn’t that just your luck. Nothing ever works out for you.

Go fuck yourself!

“All Flags are the Same” by VizzyG

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