Episode 86 – Dick on Dickels

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Yoga pants vs. bustles, NSFW: a pitch for the mutually beneficial segregation of men and women, “Content” ruined the Internet, man’s endless quest to escape the bastards, “Steven Universe” is degenerate, The Women’s March, oddguy from Encyclopedia Dramatica calls in with a lolsuit of their own, a school shooting gone wrong, my erotic pallet of familial Jungian archetypes, children singing obscene songs, the One-And-Done Champion, “Look Who You Made Me Sue”, the ruination of modern pornography, bras, better studio lighting, “The Rise and Fall of Maddox the Loser”, Road Rage: Portland, and Dickels are LIVE; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Documentarian, Admin for Encyclopedia Dramatica
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Layc Nichole
Playmate, Journalist.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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Road Rage: Portland tickets are on sale.
The Secret Society
Saturday Feb 24, 2018 – 8:30

The government could shutdown at any moment, but The Dick Show never will. That’s why you need to dump all your fiat currency and get your greedy, grubby, grabbin-y mitts on the world’s first and only cryptocurrency backed by spicy Tweets and sexy beats, of course I’m talking about Dickels (8=D), the world’s first ever comedy-podcast based cryptocurrency available to Dickheads only in an IDO (Initial Dick Offering–also a first) today! There will only ever be 20 million Dickels mined, so if you’re thinking you might do this when you got home from work, don’t delay or you might miss out. Drop the dicks out of your hands and head over to dickels.lol immediately, but first…

I have discovered the meaning of life in today’s episode. It’s not about finding happiness or love or coming to terms with your place in an unpredictable world, creating resolution in an arc-less mess and accepting the encroaching scope of your impotence in the face of accelerating chaos and cruelty while appreciating your absorption of the will into the collection wisdom. That’s not it. The meaning of life is just about escaping from bastards. Bastards come in all shapes and sizes. They can be any race, they can be any gender, they can be from any background or “socioeconomic group”. Bastards can appear with level of intelligence and at all levels of society, but one thing is certain, they only exist to fuck up your day. That’s why man has always lit out for the territory. That’s why man has sailed the seas, and that’s why we need to get the fuck to Mars, because the world is full of bastards, and they’re not going anywhere. They never do. They never do anything. They just bitch.

In this episode, oddguy (AKA EZ PZ) calls in and talks about his video “The Rise and Fall of Maddox the Loser”. Imagine if Ken Burns made a documentary focusing on all the fuck ups of your life. That is this movie. I’ve watched it several times for 20 million obvious reasons, but I think everyone would enjoy it. Like many have said, Maddox’s rise and ultimate failure is Shakespearean. Oddguy talks about running Encyclopedia Dramatica, the least factual, but most accurate site on the Internet and definitely one of my favorites, dealing with lolsuits of their own, and tells some stories about fellow admins I’m still trying to justify laughing at. Hit oddguy up on Twitter if you want to hear more, or just watch his documentary.

Here is Maddox’s appearance on “The Drunken Peasants”, after which the show was shortly disbanded. I read about some of the fall out and I get the feeling that Goss demons are in the oven cooking up something spicy…

Next, it’s is the ultimate “Dick vs. Dick”, the uncut versions of the argument between Maddox and I on episodes 100 and 101 of The Biggest Problem in the Universe than begins with the joke heard round the world, “No one who anyone respects–like your father or Donald Trump–believes in any of that astrology bullshit.” The argument that was cut from episode 101 has been posted in its entirety and spliced together with the argument from the previous episode. Some people have called it, “the cringiest thing from the entire run of the Biggest Problem”, and it definitely is. Redditor De_Militarized_Zone has done a complete autopsy on the raw audio I posed and the compared to the edited audio that was released for the public.

Listen to the Ultimate Dick vs. Dick train wreck and then read the autopsy. It’s very interesting.

Savestate Corrupted writes and performs “Spirits”, a generic classic rock blues song described by Justin Rupple in Episode 85.

And the prolific, hilarious, and anonymous KenDollinHide sends in “Look Who You Made Me Sue”.

The 20 Million Dollar Man Cucksmas ornament.

Dick Pics

A thumbnail recreation of my discovery of Dickels under the sea by HeHeSillyComics.