Episode 109 – Dick on Road Rage: Dallas

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Road Rage: Dallas ends in a shooting, Peach calls in about the Mustard Chug-off, I have a solution for the Supreme Court, an erotic story about shoes, uncucked racism, small Tupperware, Madcucks’ retirement and the final bonus episode of the Biggest Solution in the Universe, the microphone interlock device by Soyboy Industries, exploding honey mead, more countersuit backtracking, bar stools, fat asses, Pride-vertising, the Forth of July, Muzzy, Doc Brown the Pro-Choice scientist, and Road Rage: Atlanta; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

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Top Autist. Tirelessly unwinds and supercuts Maddox's edits of "The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked".
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The hangover, shame, and triumph of Road Rage: Dallas has not even begun to fade as preparation for Road Rage: Atlanta (August 4th) fet. the Asterios Garage Comedy Tour (August 3rd) has already begun! Tickets will be on sale shortly for what is sure to be the hottest garage comedy festival slash “country boy comedy show”, as the bystanders of Dallas who later started shooting one another called it, ever to merch. Thank you to everyone who came to the show; the tattoos, the musicians, the inventors, the offenders, the meaders, the weeders, the Madcucks, the Asterios, the Peaches, and the Kimballs, you guys are the show I come to see. See you in Atlanta!

I’ll be updating the Road Rage: Dallas page as the day goes on. There’s a lot of incredible, meaningful shit I have to catalogue like I’m Grissom from CSI.

And a big thanks to our opener Ethan Cantrell who has just released two new albums: “Cutting the Cable” and “The Dick Extension“. That’s a lot of music to listen to!

This month’s limited release t-shirt is “Guns, Horns, and Oil” by Protski! We ran out of these in Dallas almost immediately, so I’m doing a limited run just in time for July. Once 100 sell, I’ll ship them out ASAP. Please allow 2 weeks for delivery and get yours today! But first…

The Supreme Court is looking for a new old fuck to soak in half of the nation’s adoration for the rest of their lives–like a constipated political colon, for undertaking the brave task of finding obtuse legal dictums to justify indoctrinated childhood preferences toward fairness and freedom based on a perception of the world that is by design myopic, self-selected, and driven either by magical preferences of the constellations that they were born under or the convoluted but absolute plan of a super natural space wizard–depending on which half of the nation they’re soaking in. THIS IS WHAT AMERICANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.

It’s entirely political. It’s anti-Darwinistic. It’s boring. And the senate confirmations of whatever WWE Superstar Trump appoints is going to be just as memorized and rehearsed. I say we bring on the politics of the future! Everyone knows that time travel is fun, but what will a new Supreme Court nominee say about it also being a continuous infinitum of abortions? If you clone yourself and your clone clones your parents, which one is on who’s healthcare? If George Washington was made of cheese, wouldn’t you eat him? These are the questions I want to see the new Supreme Court nominees answer when they’re in front of Congress. Leave all the stupid law shit to their kids. It’s more their speed and it’s probably a better indicator of the judges themselves. Then we can see which Senators have the balls to create a soundbite from yelling at a kid.

We can make this world a reality. Don’t let your dreams be memes. Death to Boomer America. Happy Fourth of July!

Mundane Matt clip from Drunken Peasants.

The parts we listened to are at 1:41:00 and 2:14:00. Here was Pizza the Hutt’s response:

Savestate Corrupted with “Going to Greenland”.

Myroom Records with “Do It For Spite (Countersuit)”.

I object to the thiccness of this Supreme Court Justice by HeHeSillyComics.