Episode 161 – Dick on The End of Shows

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Maddox kills his podcast, shorts with no pockets, John McAfee calls in to talk privacy coins, laziness, fucking whales, advice for the virgins, and being on the run from the biggest government in the world, a millennial with no hammer calls in to explain life to Sean and I, diminishing returns, how the lost episode was lost, and putting a breathalyzer on my refrigerator; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Writer, Creator of the Bestest Show in the Universes, co-host of Here's What I Don't Get
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
John McAfee
Presidential candidate. Twitter.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
The Laughing Fish
A millennial with a hammer.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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The Road Rage: Las Vegas video is out! The rage-off, the showgirls, the Apostrophos; Check it out here! But first…

Well this is it, what may end up being the best thing to happen in the history of Maddox’s show, the solution everybody wanted and saw coming: the end of shows. Sometimes shows run their course–sometimes men run their course, and this is one of those times. After 135 laugh-free episodes, next week will be the final show for The Best Debate in the Universe. When Maddox took a histrionic shit in the bed 3 years ago, he had every intention of destroying my personal and professional reputation. Unfortunately that can’t happen, but he’s going out with something a lot of fans have requested for a long time: the end of his podcasting career.

Also, we have a brief cap at the top of the show with the ever-boisterous coconut, John McAfee. The final episode of The Best Debate in the Universe includes a problem from the first episode in the show’s history: Maddox, and a fan-favorite commentator, Dick Masterson. We go watch the last Best Debate in the Universe live and reminisce about a less broken Maddox and mock a career that could have been, but never was. When Maddox first started his show, he created it as a desperate attempt to secure advertising revenue–to which he had become accustomed. It turned out to be an embittered disaster and highly litigious, so it’s an element you’d expect to see during the rest of his life in other fixations and obsessions that he focuses on sporadically on the long journey to senility. And speaking of…

This goodbye is only temporary because a new “caustic” YouTube video or “satire to the extreme” article–content in a sea of similar content, most more well-produced, and almost all more insightful–will be posted with less and less frequency for the rest of Maddox’s life. He’ll be posting about it on obsessively curated Facebook and Twitter pages, and to the ad-free site that started it all, the albatross around Maddox’s neck, a site he loathes and resents the prison of more than he has ever enjoyed the success of, an archaic relic of Web 1.0 when it only mattered to be the first, The Best Page in the Universe. If you’d like to call in and leave Maddox a voicemail or rendition of “I Am The Greatest Man in the World” for his final show to speculate what the point of all this was or to simply give life-advice, the number is: 1-562-58-I-RULE (1-562-584-7853)

Special thanks to all of the opportunistic UCB cunts who went on Maddox’s show, the pedophiles who called in and then were abandoned when it no longer reflected well upon Maddox, the people who sent in fawning and obsequious compliments, the fans who tuned into “Maddox News”, people who bought me drinks and all of the poor, pathetic souls who allowed Maddox to humiliate them by participating in his joke of a network, including producer iamRucka, Jessie PS, Mikey Bolts, Ron Babcock, Kevin Landau and Lintilla the cam girl. This delusion wouldn’t be possible without you.

One final shout-out to Harry’s for supporting gay and trans rights over the last month. Go to Harrys.com/BIGGESTPROBLEMS and use the promo code, BIGGESTPROBLEMS, to get $5 off your first purchase. It’s been a joke watching these guys experiment with advertising to political identities.

And finally, a very special thanks to Maddox for tirelessly putting in 10-12 hours per episode for over 5 years, without a single break, just to be a punching bag for the Internet. Thanks.

So long you charisma-less fuck, it’s been a hell of a ride.

You have nothing left.

The Perception Gap

A dramatic thumbnail re-enactment of the beginning of the end of days by Cliff Campbell.