Episode 226 – Dick on No-Knock Knock Jokes


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My Ruth Bader Gonesburg shirt is removed for hate speech, I shave to not look fat, Old Sean, the X-Men Genesis game, flavored creamer, a memorial push-up contest, no-knock warrants, Canceling Netflix for better reasons, J.P. Morgan busted for laundering a billion dollars, Encyclopedia Dramatica gets sued, and how to trick your girlfriend into more oral sex; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

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A new Sean-Approved bonus episode is out! Dick on Having a Complete Meltdown. Witness Bananadox break through the programming and tell some hard truths. Meet Maddilox, the real and true creator behind the madness, and try to figure out Draculox, a man of indeterminate origins and mythology, a jumbled mess of metaphors. Very disturbing stuff here, folks. I highly recommend being secure in your identity and sexuality if you’re going to watch it. Also, Pimp My Protest, Rent-A-Kid, Jizz Gas, and perforated fruit. Download it now for $5! But first…

Capitalism is dead and a free-market of violence has devolved from it. No sense in fighting it because that is the same as participating in it. We live in a society!

If you’re not wearing appropriate religious attire while in public, namely a face covering that protects everyone else from the concept of death and disease, then you can be tased indiscriminately by the police. No one will help you. The police are actually there to protect you from these people. Without the police, they would kill you for heresy. Both sides give their best and brightest a uniform and a badge.

Great and wonderful mobs have gathered to demonstrate the force of the violence of their ideas. This is not anathema to prescriptions of lockdown and tyranny. It is merely a competing brand of totalitarian violence challenging the dominant consortium. It’s simple murders and executions. This is disruption! 1776 2.0. Both will lock you up, but their differing commitments to customer service is what you’re voting for with your violence. We don’t vote with dollars anymore. Dollars don’t exist.

No one has ever wanted a Pepsi in the history of mankind, but it’s everywhere because of the dollars that move behind the scenes. We can’t get rid of it. Because the choice once existed. Biden is a poison pill–this is an 80s term–a purposefully malfunctioning component pushed into a system to promote its downfall. He will probably take a swing at Trump on live television during the debates tonight. He might also challenge him to a push-up contest. These are the accolades of children who saw parents on television and wondered what kind of competing monopoly of violence the state might provide.

The hostile takeover has been going on for years and years. The good news is, if you are paying too much for your violence or if you are not getting the kind you desire, the free market will provide!

“Cancer In The End (Goodbye RBG)” by Myroom Records

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Author: Dick Masterson

Host of The Dick Show.