Episode 227 – Dick on Hassle Doctrine

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Frank Hassle calls in about Boogie2988 shooting at him, dead kids are used as puppets for gun control, celebrating Trump’s death is different than RBG, capitalize Blacks, Birthers vs. COVIDs, walking through a screen door, a guy finds a sugar-trans parent, Mario64 still sucks, vocal fry, California paying reparations for slavery, a 10-day waiting period, period color, disavowing white supremacy like a thousand times, hegemony, never-ending advice from two Macho Mans, and my very crappy OxMad shirt; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Frank Hassle
People Enthusiast/Sissy Hypnotist. Bitchute Gumroad
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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We’re doing a Halloween movie commentary track this week, what should we do? Whatever it is, you’ll find it on patreon.com/TheDickShow. Maybe

Death is the original ad. No one has ever had to advertise pussy, it’s built-in like food and water and blaming minorities for not having enough of either. But death, we have no built-in concept of. So what an ad it makes!

When you die, you spend eternity not being dead. You’re saturated with pleasure and bliss, even though the things you define as pleasure and bliss would be anathema to every single thing you want to do that would get you there. Heaven is not a place on Earth–and it is free of murder and sex and excess, but trust me still it’s great. Because you don’t want to do those things, right? Then you’d never get there.

Guns are bad, m’kay? They kill people, you’ll kill yourself with a gun. Don’t believe me? Here’s my dead kid to tell you all about it. Does he seem a little unhinged? Unpolished? Well of course, he’s dead you understand. Maybe he doesn’t sound unpolished enough?

I love it! An army of young advertisers, licensed to bamboozle when they were born and unleashed on the voting population–they get younger every generation. Because we’ve been doing it forever. Lies, damned lies, and statistics, and AI generated zombies that look like a tech demo for a video game I have to watch like a movie. The only take-away from it is, there’s nothing these people wouldn’t do. It is in it’s inhumanity the quintessence of the Uncanny Valley.

So the race is on! Do Not Resuscitate, Organ Donor, Please Use My Likeness for Gun Control/Anti-Smoking/Wearing Seatbelts/Registering to Vote/Going to War with Russia/Etc. Let’s have our child armies brawling in the virtual streets, fighting fascism with fascism, pitting the worst of themselves against one another; their minds. I’m sure the NRA will respond appropriately with a computerly generated corpse of John Wayne, and pat themselves on the back for it until their arms break off.

I only buy hamburgers sold by dead children. Everyone knows that about me. That’s my jam.

“The Dick Show Mario Trump Mashup” by GAME TEST PLAY

Dick Pics

Hassle Doctrine: Boogie2988 shoots a gun at Frank Hassle

AI kid.

Thumbnail of a self-offense situation by protski.