Episode 238 – Dick on Slow Meat

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Too old for this many drugs, seeing where all your missing stuff went in Hell, City Slickers ruins my life, getting a vaccination chip or kicked in the head, drinking and cooking slow meat all day, a Marshall plan for mom, losing the draw string on your shorts, how Trump can still win, the Wonder Bread guy draws some pictures, a fake funeral for a fake death, genderless babies, Twitch makes a statement on words, the Great Reset resetted, Madcucks moves back in with his parents, and Sean vs. Madcucks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Writer, Creator of the Bestest Show in the Universes, co-host of Here's What I Don't Get
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Road Rage: Tampa shirts are on sale now! There’s not many left, but if you didn’t grab one at the show, or you want to pretend like you went–or you have some kind of completionist thing going on, get yours today!

But first…

The government is back in town,
The government is back in town,
The government is back in town,
The government is back in town…
Do doodley doo doo, do doodley dweir doo..
Do doodley dee doo, do doodle do do do do do do…

$600 to you, and $500 million to Israel. That’s the quintessence of the quote un-quote supposed, so-called “bailout”. But don’t worry. That money has to be spend on American defense contractors. It goes right back into our pockets. The royal “our”. You’re making money on the deal, America!

This is $2,700 of debt divided among three hundred million debt interest payers (commonly called income tax, payroll tax, soon to be called VAT tax), who are given $600 to make it happen–right before Christmas.

If The Devil were making this deal, he would have at least made the numbers ironic.

It’s business as usual back in Washington without Trump. That is to say, the brutal buttfucking of futures and blood wringing of a stoned and broken middle class. Not a care in the world for any of it. The Great Reset is the final stage of the process. After the pure distillates have been drawn, and the mash has been syphoned off, this is the malt stage. Tons of pressure squeezing everything that’s left from trash, pressing the last bits of alcohol into a foul-tasting mixture that is loaded with sugar and chemicals. This is the product of the fourth industrial revolution. Trash. The last bits of worth pressed from a dead empire, and given to defense contractors.

No form of representative government could have created this bill, so only reasonable alternative no matter how unlikely, must be reality. We live under a Malarchy-archy. I’m not sure how to survive in this sort of world. I suspect to embrace the abstract is to live. The enemy of the literal, which is quickly becoming illegal or at least forbidden cybernetically. The growth of sarcasm and olique-ity has become, work into dreams, currency as a system of values and opportunity instead of activity, speech is an idea and not actual speech. It’s only important to know what someone meant to say.

It is against the Term of Service on every platform on the planet to respond to this stimulus package in a reasonable way. The public square has been eliminated through the process of liquor and occupational licensing. If you violate this order, you will lose your liquor license. Just wait another couple of weeks. All conversation must now take place in an abstract form, through memes and cyphers, in a technocratic landscape where permanence has been given to harmless complainers; to win is to “own the libs”. Anything else is against the Terms of Service and therefore does not exist. Pencil dicks have become demagogues. Abstractions of values.

The American spirit is not economically viable. “Capitalism”, as it was meme’ed into existence, is not economically viable. It requires hard choices and not abstract ones. It does not permit zombie corporations and zombie governments and zombie ideas. It does not permit evil of this magnitude because evil in and of itself is not profitable, it is economically viable, however.

This is not a time for literal men. This is a time for silly men. It is impossible to pay off $2,700 in ten years with $600 without gambling it. It is especially impossible when you spend it on a PS5. And people are still worried about a virus. It is an abstract time.

“Bananadox” by Pony Cordero

Dick Pics

White-pilled holiday thumbnail by HeHeSilly!