Episode 243 – Dick on Space Boobs


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Boobs on Star Trek, ruining Tupperware, erasing women, heckling news anchors and appealing to the humorless, women vs. serial killers, sitting in a loss, language on the suicide hotline, Amazon vs. mail-in ballots, child porn on Twitter, the Milo show, a Flat Earther calls in, Crippled Jesus vs. admin, a pee jar virgin, and overworking Kegels; all that and more this month on The Dick Show!

Crippled Jesus
Very insensitive.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
David Weiss
Flat Earther, creator of the Flat Earth Clock App
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
See All Co-Hosts

We’re recording a bonus episode this week at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, so if you’ve got solutions, inventions, or Bananadox clips or Draculox clips, or Ass-ulox clips–whatever the fuck 90s-Conan instructional Maddox is putting on for 50 people a night while getting shit-faced–send them ASAP. Also, Dick Show pint glass shipping should have been fixed, and is now at a lower price! So if you didn’t get yours, send me an email or check out the store today! But first…

More people fill out their own email address wrong while signing up for my Federated instance at paypig.org than failed to sign their presidential mail-in ballots correctly. I know because I’ve gotten more than two emails saying, “Dick, I messed up the sign-in form for paypig.org even though it says “Email”, and I’ve been filling out forms online since before I could write. Even though the instructions are obvious and few, and failing to do them correctly will result in immediate and complete failure. And yet, still I somehow managed. Can you help?”

Maybe.

In a post-fact world, businesses triumphantly reopen, but are destroyed. Unemployment is not a measure of economic health, but an opportunity to heal the system. In a post-fact world, fundamentals are a perfunctory hedge against enthusiasm, and hundreds of billions in institutional wealth are destroyed by memes and ignorance. In a post-fact world, understanding is destruction.

Maybe I didn’t even see Counsellor Troi’s tits!

Although I’m sure I did. It was a shock to me because I’m also sure they should have been edited out, or will soon be. Caught by a minimum-wage NARC, dozing off at a calliope of violence and child pornography–their own personal hell–submitted en masse for censorship, and then…

Tits. BAM! Erased.

I imagine you would be desensitized to the rest.

In a post-fact world, all the information is at your fingertips; the good, the bad, the preposterous, the criminal, the savage, the fat and ugly. And each is weighed only as a function of your own time. I spent time on that, so it must be important. In a post-fact world, everyone is an expert of experts, able to synthesize large and complicated sets of data and predict the outcomes, which are infinite and iterative. In a post-fact world, the Earth is flat, Q is real, voting is secure when we don’t mean it and insecure when we do, girls have a shenis and boys have a mangina, choice exists, God and the government are here to help…Trust the plan.

In a post-fact world, everyone was right and increasingly so. That’s a good thing. We could use some good news, and there’s nothing better than being right.

“Feeding Time” by the Hard Men Working Hard.

In the plan we trust thumbnail by Berries n’ Cream.

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Author: Dick Masterson

Host of The Dick Show.