Episode 242 – Dick on the Fediverse

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Entering the Fediverse, setting clocks ahead for fun, making a mess with bags of sand, half-assed robots vs half-assed humans and the $15 minimum wage, the Indoguration, cosplay and the race to the bottom of the uncanny valley, Josh Denny gets canceled for jokes, Seth Rogan vs. Count Dankula, regulating Bitcoin, a regurgitating erotic story, and Crippled Jesus gets in trouble in his Feminist Theory class; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Josh Denny
Comedian, host of "Ginormous Food". Twitter Locals
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Crippled Jesus
Very insensitive.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Chainlink God
Buy chainlink now or stay poor forever.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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This Tampa audio is cursed I swear, with the curse of freedom! Or maybe it’s so dense with comedy that it’s just taking this long to process. Who knows! All I know is, when it’s ready, you will be able to get it at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, along with our crossover episode with Karl from “Who Are These Podcasts” and this month’s bonus episode. But first…

Join paypig.org.

There you will find the whitest of white pills, the soother of all your ills, and the company of men, likeminded men, and barely any grills–except for whores. Can I mention whores to you right now? Because I just found out they’re all there too, waiting for you, in the Fediverse!

And that’s not all! Sign up now for your ticket to take a magical trip back in time to the year 1995 or thereabouts. Before all this asininery about Section 230 and cock ring ransoms and “hate speech” and MySpace angles for fat chicks and the 24-hour news cycle. That’s where we’re going. That’s the last time we were able to think unadulterated.

The future, my friends, is Federated. We let it become anything but with our incompetence and our unbridled enthusiasm (that’s a Seinfeld reference also from 1995 for anyone keeping score), and our inability to access servers that were cheap as dirt and our need to connect the world, but it’s time to rein it in. It’s time to pull over to the side of the road and make your girlfriend think you’re going to start yelling while you take stock of what might survive this occupied America.

The Capitol is covered in barbed wire and littered with honorary army men. And while I don’t think it’s going to get better, I can see a way that it might.

It won’t be easy the next four or forty years, however long it takes. Oppressive tax regimes, universal basic fuck you, the battle of the virtuous Mega Corps fought with bonds and blood and surveillance. The advertising will become us, human memory will be rendered useless against the computer, two plus two will equal five. The good news is, the smug and the progressive and the viscous will be completely destroyed by a machine of their own creation, the wealth of their labor syphoned into the pockets of the oligarchs of the third world, their earnings drowned in opportunity, their children sold into slavery. The bad news is, it will happen to the good people too.

Buy Bitcoin and get Federated. It’s the first step in a long journey that none of us will finish.

Welcome to La Resistance!

Dick Pics

“E-Girls Get the Bullet” by the Hard Men Working Hard.

Scratch and sniff thumbnail by Cliff Campbell.