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Women reacting to animals in war movies, vaccine enthusiasm, a trademark Chauvin shoulder massage, “Women Posting Their Ls”, women are in charge of the US economy, the Roomba, packing the SCOTUS, 150 million new poor people, CDC vs. Racism, women crying power dynamics, and the Sisyphus voicemail; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
|Women Posting Ls
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Get your fat ass over to fat.dick.show and register for the fattest weight loss contest on Earth. First weigh-ins are April 15th. The contest runs until everyone weighs zero pounds or July 4th–whichever comes first! Declare independence over your fat gunt and/or ass. Throw out all your clothes because you won’t need them anymore. Get a beach bod. And say bod as much as you possibly can. Get in everyone’s fat face about it. Make them pay. Revenge is at hand! Revenge is a diet soda away at fat.dick.show. But first…
The myth of Sisyphus is told incorrectly. Like most things. He doesn’t push a boulder up a hill for eternity as a punishment. That’s a Catholic retcon.
What actually happened was, Sisyphus was told he had to do good in school and do his homework. And that standardized testing was important. So he tried his best even though it offered him no satisfaction.
He didn’t drink as much as he could have or do any many drugs as he could have or fuck as many chicks as he could have. This was for reasons of moderation, which was touted as healthy and a key component of success in life. So he denied himself these things even though it offered him no satisfaction.
College was a must. Excellence in citizenship and networking and resume-crafting and lying and the optimization of utility. Get married. Get a job. Pick a health plan. Exercise every day after forty. Your bones are melting. Your family is dying. Every second spent in the idolatry of the self is wasted. Take time for yourself. Appreciate the little things. There is a deep and divine sense of purpose that compounds yearly and it is within reach only when it is just out of reach. It is vital to con the young.
If he ever managed to roll the boulder to the top of the hill, Sisyphus would become a God. That was the deal. It wasn’t a punishment. He chose to be there. Thank you for not killing yourself.
“Dead Fish Eyes” by The Grillcast
This thumbnail that was harmed during the making of this podcast by Wormwood.