Episode 278 – Dick on Taxation is Prison

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Tax the rich, stop being fat, lie to your baby mama, Playboy but with men for straight men, Chris the Kiwi’s escort texts, getting your car towed, underrepresentation in film and television, leaving your grandparents, the BallsDeepWeep developer calls in, and nurses and teachers and nurses and teachers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

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A new bonus episode is out, and I can say for certain that this is the very best one. We left it all out on the field in this one. There was nothing held back. There will never be another like it.

Sean and I deconstruct a fart…for ten minutes. It’s something you really have to see to believe, and you can only do so at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, or at SubscribeStar.com/TheDickShow, or the other one. Fuck is that annoying to post three times. Maybe it would be fun to subscribe three times? You tell me. But first…

People say taxes don’t work. That all your money is just collected and burned in a giant hole, poured into the pockets of defense contractors at a rate that out-paced every other major superpower put together–including ones on other planets we don’t even know of yet, or fed into an industrial machine, a leviathan of bureaucracy and waste and tone that sucks the marrow out of your bones.

The truth is, taxes do work. It’s just their purpose that’s misunderstood. Taxes exist so that one half of the population can enslave the other half. They would pay an incredible fee to do this, up to and including whatever you have. They would pay with their lives. And they do. And it works. Perfectly, and in wonders.

The pandemic has shown everyone for what they truly are! And there’s no going back for anyone who doesn’t want to go back, which is no one, because there was never any hiding it. It was always there the entire time out in the open, in the taxes.

Americans pay more in taxes than they pay for anything else. Because the product they’re buying, the enslavement of their neighbor, is worth more than anything else.

“Why can other people go out and have fun without a mask when I don’t want to!?”

“Why can other people not drive a gay little car when I don’t want to!?”

“Why do other people not have to pay for Afghanistan when I don’t want to!?”

“It’s not fair!”

FOMO. People will work their fingers to the bone to avoid it, and you not working your fingers to the bone is the cause.

Because nothing else makes sense. You can just print the money otherwise. Gin it out of thin air and play games with rates and backstops. Fuck the grandkids. Fuck the future. That makes sense. But it doesn’t get you high.

“We Have Tiny Dinosaurs” by Savestate Corrupted