Episode 286 – Dick on Strong Times

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Strong men create strong times, weak men create weak times, transcendental meditation, breast reduction surgery, an SUV walks into a bar and runs over a Christmas parade, cash bail, the IRS gears up to eviscerate the gig economy, Biden says “Negro”, and the winner of the Sean Dance Stone Toss NFT contest is chosen; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Shit, I need to think of a new Flurk contest for this week. Congratulations to this last week’s winner! I’ll be sending your Flurk out directly, but first…

Weak men create hard limes, but strong men men create good limes. So what’s the secret to limes anyway?

What if weak men create hard men, do the limes created by those hard men retain any of the weaker qualities?

Can a hard lime create a hard man? One fish, two fish, weak fish, Joe Rogan fish. Gregor Mendel had a CrossFit Gym, OO-oo, Ah-ah, aroooo–like Tim Allen used to do.

Time creates panicked men. Hard, easy, nightmare mode–panicked men grasping at straws and pitchforks who need simple games like Chutes and Ladders to justify their impotence or inaction.

“Have a bunch of kids! It’s the only thing that turn THE DEMOGRAPHICS in our favor.”

But have you done anything else? Literally? Besides plow your fat wife?

“Good times come from hard men…”

And where do “hard men” come from?

“Suffering. War. Famine. I was almost war’ed one time. Me and my father brothers…”

Great. We’ll have a great big war then. A spiritual war for some, a financial war for others. Weak men and strong men and fancy men alike will meet at sundown with their clubs and memes. They’ll fight to the death. And these limes birth forth after their incredible suffering will be the hardest limes the world has ever known. For they will have been won by the strongest men. These limes will be the foundation for a great empire. An empire steeped in conflict and death and suffering and that produces only the strongest men and the goodest limes. And this Lime-pire shall reign for ten thousand years. Until the weak limes return.

The Sean Dance – Winner

The Sean Dance – Runner Up

The Sean Dance – Second Runner up privated his goddamn video!

Thumbnail of a nightmare by Cliff Campbell.