Episode 88 – Dick on Blue Balls

Download the MP3 | Watch the Video | Read the Transcript

The bikini chicks from Ivan “Ironman” Stewart’s Super Off-Road, Western Feminism intersects with Islamic Fundamentalism, eSports “practice”, the “fake because”, April O’Neil, the endless blue balls of waiting on a single computer part, forgetting your wallet, Jordan Petersen is Al Bundy with statistics, the time I smuggled weed into Belgium, people who see each other driving when they’re driving, nymphs are NSFW, Holy Testicle Tuesday, resistance training like a woman, and history with Kian Magaña; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Kian Magaña
Hero. [email protected]
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
See All Co-Hosts

So far, it has cost me more than $15,000 in attorney fees to defend myself against the sue-some two-some of Lying and Implying, Dying Maddox and his hype-man/attorney “Dog Bite” Kevin Landau, possibly the dumbest lawyer on Earth. It has cost me the equivalent of a Showcase Showdown to deal with a moron in money I otherwise could have spent on 160 gallons of Wild Turkey–or feeding 300 starving children in a third-world shithole, who can say? It has cost me, and I’m pissed about it. However, while the money has been a tremendous and bitter loss, it pails in comparison to the memes gained, and you can’t put a price on that. Gems like, “Or so defendant Ouzounian thought,” and “How’s that for irony?” or this colossal doozy that appeared last night in a new court document entitled “Jane Doe or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Failure”.

Jane Doe is no longer anonymous, by her own hand. If you want to read her statements for yourself yourself along with the latest in Maddox’s career suicide note/Compendium of Inadequacy, check it out at lolsuit.com. Or just watch Nick Rekieta’s video on it! But first…

Censorship is now an art form, and why not? Times of heroism and grandeur produce the classics, darkness and uncertainty begets Hot Topic looking shit, an approaching tidal wave of technology and interconnection, the collision of values and morals and culture in a microcosm-ic zeitgeist that evolves faster than we do, disillusioning us of our humanity and autonomy produces stupid looking boxes and guys with noses on the sides of their faces, and consumerism makes Soup Cans–so in this modern age of punching Nazi’s, “hate speech”, and de-platforming–bans, trans, Midochlorians, why wouldn’t censorship be the form of art we contribute to history. And it is.

F1 bans “Grid Girls” to make a statement–the statement has no merit other than an artistic one. A classical painting is removed to “spark conversation”, children and expelled from school for “sexual assault”. Twitter has gentrified the Internet and John Henry’ed our collective id into a soy-boy superego, and we can’t have nice things anymore because nice things are out of fashion.

I will say this. I’m at peace with having no more R-rated movies. Even if they are R, they’re not R. They’re more like “Talk like a Pirate Day”, R’ing for the sake of it. I’m also fine with the idea of paying for adults to read each other book reports and then give each other merits for it, patting themselves on the back over it well into their 30s having the high school experience they were promised in high school. I’m even starting to forget if I’m supposed to want to be detained or not. Which is it? Am I not being detained?

However, there is a line to all this nonsense. If the Virtual World comes out and if it is befouled by the male feminists and the intersectional fundamentalists, both the feminist kind and the Islamic–if I can’t get my 3D Lucie Wilde World Experience for $600 exactly like I fucking want it without a pitch for meaning in mediocrity and without any hint of a pallet, there will be murders. Maybe that will be the next form of art. It seems like the next logical step once we’ve exhausted the aesthetic of dehumanizing each other.

I’m pissed about the $15,000.

“When The Lawsuit Implodes” by Anthony Charles Esq.

Myroom Records, opening for Road Rage: Portland, with “Everything is a Rage”.

Fettboi with “What is a Microphone? Yes/No”.

And a preview of next week’s to come, Madcucks presents “Madcucks Tonight”, a part of the Rekieta News Network.

Tom Brady kissing his son.

A moron removes a painting.

And a thumbnail that you can Smurf your Smurf to with a Smurf up your Smurf by Andy Lee.