Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks

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Our audio problems are fixed forever, Dick Supporters on Patreon.com have a new enhanced video feed, my Life Coach stops by and doesn’t plug his Twitter, Marc Maron gets triggered, I why Maddox is now giving away the Biggest Problem Bonus Episodes, a New Challenger emerges from reddit, Dustin digs himself out of a hole, and I talk about Mike Tyson, God, and my hand being accosted by a man’s hoodie at a Trailer Park Boys show. All this and more this week on The Dick Show!

Did you know most Americans suffer family tragedies every day of the week? If you’ve ever tried to hire anyone, you know this to be true. It’s a devastating epidemic that needs the attention of our leaders. But first…

The Dick Show’s beef with Marc Maron has reached new heights of rancor and vitriol and explodes spectacularly! The man with the mug and Obama’s WTF-BFF has become so incensed with Dick Show listeners, that he’s e-stuttering in rage! You know you’ve pissed someone off when they’re making typos. That’s internet-iquette 101. If you make a typo, your argument is invalid. Here is the beef as it unfolded.

You sure did. Speaking of being blocked on Twitter…

What is 50% of zero? It can’t be zero, can it? I ask because Maddox has decided to give away all Bonus Episodes of The Biggest Problem in the Universe and my cut is now 50% of zero. I kid. But I have come to realize that Maddox’s principles are like my ideal libertarian government. They’re so small, you can barely see them–or they don’t actually exist except in theory and you need some sort of extreme cognitive dissonance to pretend they exist in practice. The metaphor still holds up! I wonder what to do about it. Hopefully, listeners have better suggestions than my Life Coach.

Sovash, a man who claims to speak for all of The Dick Show on reddit, calls in to air his grievances surrounding Dustin and also to hold me to task for several of my Dick Show campaign promises, namely the promise of hiring a “News Babe” to read the news and I don’t mean Sean. I make a number of excuses and discuss my thoughts on beautiful women in Los Angeles in general. Next week, I’ll read the Craigslist ad I posted to lure in a young ingenue and you guys can tell me where I fucked up.

Listener Derek Gooley sends Sean a gift to solve his audio issues. It must have worked because we didn’t change anything else and this show went off without a hitch. Here’s a picture of the magical device in case you’re having audio issues of your own.

See you next Tuesday!