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Turning FFFFFFFF, the never-ending hangover, Adulting, new cringe PSAs, Cantillions ruins a birthday surprise, having to thank people for a birthday surprise, Bill Murray vs. menopause, No Nuts November, black people can’t marry white people, Tulpabrah calls in, Australia vs. hentai, wearing lifts in our shoes, suicide, Mersh, and the final Coronavirus argument; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Media Insurgent /// Host Of Revenge of the Cis & Nightwave /// Comedian /// Night Daddy Twitter Revenge of the Cis
Is a Rage!
Not a Rage.
Is a Rage!
Not a Rage.
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Road Rage: Tampa, the mega cross-over event of the decade and possibly the only thing that actually happens in 2020 is happening December 12th in Ybor City! Fucking be there!!! Tickets are on sale now at tampa.dick.show. Bring your COVID, bring your mask, and let’s drown whores with stimulus bucks and paint the town infected. We will be in a brave new world by then, run either by a singular chess piece or an Officer and a Super Predator. We will envy the dead, but first…
The election is already lost in chaos. Mail-in ballots are being dumped by the truckload into gigantic incinerators. The evil organization of F.A.N.G. has stopped white males from screaming at one another. This is a very important part of the democratic process. Unappealing women in key voting districts are frantically jiggling the cords of voting machines that don’t work while old men wearing too many pins speak toward them in unbroken sentences, casting a spell of insanity over them. The panicked sweat of a nation sinks into our throats while the Federal Reserve works quiety from home churning out trillions of dollars a second.
Four years ago, it felt like Trump could do something, but we make the mistake of pretending to care, and that’s how they got us. Do we care that Trump is a Russian operative? No was the correct answer. Do we care that this SCOTUS appointee gang raped someone at a party in high school? Nope. Do we care that anyone dies of a virus?
No. Scientifically, we don’t care. The proof is in the millions of preventable deaths that happen around the world every day. No one fucking cares, but we pretended to, and that’s how they got us!
I don’t care anymore whether it’s Trump or Biden. It will be Trump by a landslide. Over 300 probably. And he’ll ram his unpopular vote through through the Supreme Court of which he may have appointed the entirety of by the time this is over. From Donald to Ivanka to Barron. In 2066 Barron Trump will run against a California senator called the second coming of Bernie. They’ll use his stupid hair logo. Old morons will tell their children stories they don’t want to hear. 1% of the world will own 99% of the Bitcoin. Medical bills will be paid via a basket of cryptocurrencies based on the consumption of advertisements and political indoctrination and the election will never end.
But it’s very important not to get caught caring about any of it. Because they don’t. That’s just science.
Thumbnail of death by protski.