Episode 258 – Dick on the Jerk Off Ninja

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Used Front Hole Day, Sean is leaving for White Boy Summer, wasting time cleaning a grill, Happy Mother’s Day to myself, Tess Holiday vs. anorexia, fat women vs. COVID, everyone vs. J Scott Campbell’s boobs, Crippled Jesus wheels out of the closet, Adam from Houston and the jerk off ninja, a deadbeat sister, the IRS gets $80 billion, and $DOGE tanks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Adam from Houston Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Crippled Jesus
Very insensitive.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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Why not kick off your White Boy Summer with the recent bonus episode of The Dick Show available only at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, and then really kick your White Boy Summer into high gear when we do a cross-over episode with Krazy Karl from “Who Are These Podcasts?” this week, available at Patreon.com/TheDickShow. And then kick the dog out of your White Boy Summer when Sean goes on vacation in a couple weeks and Vito and I reboot “The Biggest Problem in the Universe”, the video of which will be available for $1 at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, but first…

FEMA Interrogation Room – 2119

There’s a tortoise in the desert. Do you know what a tortoise is?
I know what a turtle is.
There’s a turtle in the desert. It’s hot. Blazing hot in the hot sun. You reach down in the hot sun and you notice that the turtle is unvaccinated.
You reach down and you notice that the turtle is unvaccinated.
Why would a turtle be unvaccinated? Are you sure you’re asking the right questions?
It’s completely hypothetical. You reach down and you notice that the turtle is unvaccinated.
The turtle is unvaccinated?
How would I notice that?
You tell me? By using your white supremacy. You reach down with your white supremacy and you notice that the turtle is unvaccinated.
Now hold on a minute. I’m not a white supremacist!
I mean, you’re only using your white supremacy. Look, these are just statements. To answer your question, yes, I am reading the right card. This is just a test designed to evoke an emotional response from homosexuals.
That’s homophobic!
Yeah? Describe in single words the only good things that come to mind about your mother.
Let me tell you about my mother.

Dick Pics


Thumbnail that just wants to grill by protski.