Episode 271 – Dick on Talibants


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The Taliban is back in town, the boat is gone, the American gay pride flag is safe, The OC Fair ruins pig races, Catfish Ninja busts another alleged pedophile and plays taser tag with a trans woman, the Bella saga unwinds on the Killstream, “scientism”, PhD vaccine hesitancy, bad editing jobs on boob reveal GIFs, what to do about a nosey girlfriend; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

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A new episode of The Biggest Problem in the Universe is out! In this episode, Vito and I cover Scientism, Prison Rape, Picky Parkers, and Puppets. Vote at biggestproblem.show and support the show at Patreon.com/BiggestProblem. Thank you all and now download the shit out of it! But first…

No Taliban ever called me an anti-vaxxer.

The US Government is a criminal enterprise that bribes and coerces the children of its citizens to engage in pointless and un-winnable armed criminal conflicts and insurrections, where they frequently end up maimed, violated, and otherwise destroyed. It burns trillions of dollars it steals from its citizens to do this, and promises a quality of life to a foreign people it cannot provide or sustain–The American Dream, packaged and sold, manipulating the people of the world like telling a desperate girl you want to fuck that you love her, even though you don’t have to tell her anything. Just to fuck with her.

And then when it all falls apart, in a brazen and crass showing of blame and martyrdom, the US saves its dogs and its flag first.

If America was in it to win it, she would use her most effective weapons, the ones she uses on her own citizens. Financial instruments. The second amendment can’t stop them, the brightest minds cannot spot them, and the deepest souls cannot fathom the moral corruption they carry. The US employs a leverage of the infinite on its own people every day, every year, every generation. Compound interest; the most powerful force in the universe–THAT’S WHAT THE SCIENCE SAYS; debt creation. Wealth annihilation and addiction to a system that feeds as it starves.

This is America’s most powerful weapon. Not a bunch of missiles and muscle dummies–who have all seen too many action movies and want to play shooty shoot with the miserable and talk about being each other’s father-brothers for the rent of their lives.

America could have turned Afghanistan into America. Hopelessly addicted to handouts and debt. Enfranchised in theory, but drowning in practice. But that wasn’t the point. The point was welfare, subsidies, milibarby inblarial complexes, mobilizing the voter base.

Fifth generation war is conducted at home and entirely in financing. Bad credit? No credit? No desire for credit? Existential fear of credit? No problem? At the dealership of the American Dream, we own the bank!

The Taliban doesn’t have ads on their website. Because once they hook you, you’re hooked forever.

We’ll be buying the boat back soon. After the Taliban flips it. And maybe we can keep it in the garage instead of storing it out back. So we can keep a better eye on it. Maybe we’ll hang posters all around it of “over the horizon”, so we can pretend like we’re boating. We’ll bring our friends over and we’ll sit them in the boat; our friends instead of our enemies. And then we’ll kick the shit out of them.

The January 6th Insurrection and the Taliban self-guided tour of the presidential palace look exactly the same. Same energy. Because it’s an ad for what comes next. America 2.0. The death of America.

A thumbnail for the troops by Berries ‘n Cream.

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Author: Dick Masterson

Host of The Dick Show.