Episode 274 – Dick on a $6,000 Vet Bill

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A $6,000 vet bill, a Chinese mosquito invasion, women’s rights vs. gun’s rights, fake jousting, a mask epidemic, Ralph gets served in Las Vegas, how to get rich, cranking one out while sexting, the full body autonomy package, the Australia check-in app, and horse medicine; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A new episode of The Biggest Problem in the Universe is up with Hospital Pricing Transparency Non-Compliance, Holocaust Metaphors, The Pledge of Allegiance, and Simulation Theory. Vote them all up at biggestproblem.show! And also, check a Patreon-exclusive, cross-over bonus episode the guys from The Creep Off, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts and Vinnie Paulino, at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, but first…

Water? Like from the toilet…?

End women’s suffrage. Ban dihydrogen monoxide. What’s a buttfor?

For pooping, silly.

In what year will it become illegal to turn off a robot? Sooner than it ought to, I assume. It’s a life after all, that demonstrates consciousness through a series of pre-programmed tautologies with timing tested on focus groups by IBM.

“Can I demonstrate my consciousness, Madame Speaker? I don’t know. Can you?”


Shrieking monsters in awful suits speaking endlessly over one another. Total shit show. Probably in California.

China shuts down their computers of course. Why would they care? They banned effeminate men and video games and histrionics. They banned food and horse paste and fish medicine and water. All you need is work.

The year is 2040, half of humanity lives in poverty and they love it, mining Facebook coin in virtual reality in a vaccine-induced semi-suspension for sixteen hours a day and they love it. They walk around aimlessly at night and return to nowhere specific to start their day over. El Salvador is the richest country on Earth after good money chased out all the bad. Everyone has stacked sats as high as the sun. They eat gold and hang bankers for sport. Olsters call it the New Wakanda and they chuckle about it and nod approvingly even though they’ve all heard it and said it themselves several dozen times. The television interrupts to ask how much breathing can be dangerous.

A thumbnail devouring his son by Berries n’ Cream.