Episode 275 – Dick on the Nick Show

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A disappointing 9/11, Nick Rekieta vs. Vito, Rick and Morty ruined their best story, a gorilla attacks Larry Elder, passing on one million dollars, Robert E Lee is canceled, a time capsule heist, real pro life problems, expelled from virtual school, Amazon invades Mexico, teaching your kids to mine NFTs, and how to deal with shame; all that and more on The Dick Show!

Nick Rekieta
Lawyer and Dickhead Nick Rekieta breaks down Maddox's lolsuit, Patreon.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
A typical neckbeard. The guy who vaped Belle Delphine's bathwater.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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Check out “The Dick Off”! A crossover show I recorded with the hosts of “The Creep Off”, Karl from “Who Are These Podcasts” and Vinnie Paulino. Listen now before things like cannibalism, Ron Jeremy, and gluing your dickhole shut are no longer relevant! Also, a woman reminds us that she is 25!

And also, here is me and Vito fighting on The Killstream referenced in today’s episode. I think we come in around the three hour mark, but I haven’t verified that, but first…

There’s a fat woman in a gorilla mask and a bicycle waking up this morning. She gets out of her fat bed and goes to her fat bathroom and looks herself in the fat mirror.

“This is your day,” she says fatly. “You got this.”

Her mind is poisoned with aphorisms like her arteries are clogged, incapable of rational thought even on accident. Choked with narratives, damned narratives, and anecdotes only. She is a picture of calm, unkept and slovenly and sick. A rejection of humanity.

She wears her gorilla mask to praxis practice, sweating heavily into the latex that overpowers her own stench whether she’s riding her bicycle or walking. The bike reminds her of exercise and the unhealthiness of capitalism. The excess of moderation weighs down on her like a heart attack, she wants to scream, but at least it gives her inner thighs a break from their constant friction.

She is greeted by Wild Things. Rapists in feminist masks and dyed hair. Racists with dog whistles. The combined experience of television and talk radio. This is a restructuring effort to move chicken shit around on the board. They’re playing everything wrong and it is exhausting. They are a prom committee and the theme is dysfunction, contempt. There is a dim awareness of a lack of masculinity, a sting at the missing notes like jazz. She hungers.

Social reparations give way to planning which gives way to lunch. Adderall and Lexapro has killed everyone’s appetite. A wolf in a man suit is going to stay in for lunch and attempt to rape their comrade. The fat woman in a gorilla costume envies the coworker and takes herself to lunch to fill the hole inside of her.

On the way, she runs into Larry Elder who is holding a press conference.

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Thumbnail that breaks continuity by CorganArt.