Episode 293 – Dick on Missing Portugal

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Breaking my foot before Portugal, the worst Boomer wealth graph, Space Russia invades Space Ukraine, lesbian M&Ms, the right’s abandoned spouse optics, bad advice for Valentine’s Day, and Road Rage: 300 tickets are on sale; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Kremlin's favorite Kremling. Soundboard aficionado. Co-host of The Ralph Retort. Twitter.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
Ethan Ralph
Host of The Killstream. Owner/Editor-in-Chief of The Ralph Retort. Twitter. DLive.
Is a Rage!

Not a Rage.
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Road Rage: 300 – Los Angeles 2 – Maddox’s Funeral Take 2 happens March 5th and tickets are on sale for Patreonis RIGHT NOW at Patreon.com/TheDickShow. Nick Rekieta is going to be there. I haven’t figured out who else is going to be there yet, but it’s downtown and it’s got three bartenders. So what else do you need? Grab tickets before they run out and they will, but first…

It’s the end of the world; nucular war with the Rooskies. So kick back back–and I mean that literally, take a kickboxing class to protect yourself from fall out and rape, have a margarita–eat a margarita, eat a skinny-fat low-carb low-emissions high-in-digestive-enzymes margarita, and enjoy! You only get to see it once.

If you think you were saved by the government over the last two years, you’re never going to imagine how heroically you will be saved over the next. As Joe Biden and his band of retards and skin walkers take on Joe Kremlin and his atomic supermen.

There are people who believe the government should have nuclear weapons. I’m not one of those people. The government is the last person who should be holding nuclear weapons. A thought construct that iteratively passes blame from one inversion to the next, fueled by lack of attention, or like Vito says, “I didn’t vote for that.” Wunderbar!

But then there are people who believe that they should, and that the government is the only people who can save us from the threat of the government having nuclear weapons. It bottles the mind.

People stayed inside for 18 months without seeing another person. Mothers locked their children in separate rooms. Only one Target was looted and burned to the ground. Doesn’t matter.

Get under your desk, wear a t-shirt over your face, eat so much wheat that it makes you sick, prepare for death, prepare for a long winter of suffering and illness, prepare for nuclear war.

The big question is, what city will it be. Who’s my bitch? The old black and white footage doesn’t do it anymore. And Hiroshima and Nagasaki were too early for TikTok, so who’s it gonna be? The waters must be chummed with blood and stories.

It can’t be too big, like New York or LA. Maybe Detroit? It’s already a shit hole, but that’s a problem.

Maybe Austin, TX? Too on the nose. Maybe Florida? We’ll see.

The Big Boomer Graph

Thumbnail of flying too close to the sun by CSSRArt.