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Vito’s Antifa Horror Movie, dogs with no eyes and the women who compliment them, the actual Trump sign guy, Tim Heidecker gets my Twitter account canceled because he is jealous of my masculine comedy, cougars and the no one who loved them, the great ammo shortage, breeding shoulders, Road Rage: Tampa is almost announced, The ADL vs. Gamers, a family piss duel, shooting net guns at criminals, and trans Jesus’ sexual preferences; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.
|The Trump Sign Guy
Street artist, patriot, erected the Trump Sign on the 405.
Is a Rage!
Not a Rage.
A typical neckbeard. The guy who vaped Belle Delphine's bathwater.
Is a Rage!
Not a Rage.
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Attention guys with huge dongs and women who love them… Road Rage: Tampa is coming, December 12th, and everyone is going to be there probably!!! Blow the ass out of lockdown and close out 2020 with the year’s greatest event–and that includes if Trump is re-elected. I’m talking Ryan Long, Revenge of the Cis, Nick Rekieta, Karl from “Who are These Podcasts”, Rusty Cage, other people whom I have forgotten to mention because it’s early. My balls are sizzling and tickets will sell out immediately, so memorize your card number and practice entering it for when the time comes. I don’t have the contract yet, it will probably be later today or tomorrow, and the the second I sign it, I will put tickets up at tampa.dick.show.
Cross your fingers, cross your toes, cross your testicles, and pray to God that either a vaccine is developed or people understand that there is no way to distinguish between a COVID infection and the presence of dead viral RNA, which has been amplified artificially by ten million percent in these test spikes. If you are wondering why they don’t ever explain that, then I don’t know what planet you’ve been watching. Road Rage: Tampa, MONEY PRINTER GO BRRRR, on sale soon, but first…
The Dodgers are in the World Series again! And this time, they’re playing against a team who isn’t a bunch of cheating crooks! Fuck Houston and the hurricane they rode in on! Motherfucker.
I have zero confidence in our vote-by-mail ballot system, but it’s fine. The secret of US elections is to realize that they’re merely an abstraction to keep the poor from raping and murdering the middle class while they sleep. The rich will always be richer, $400k…$400 trillion, it doesn’t matter. Opportunity is a mechanism of control, and another Cuties will always be on the horizon to distract the stinking masses of unwashed Puritans. Your education is compulsory and will be paid off until you are dead. Your dreams and entertainment will be cryptographically sanitized by the ADL. God save the plebs.
Biden might possibly win this thing, although I doubt it very much. But here’s the bright side. The Biden-Harris Industrial Complex is more better suited to dump trillions of dollars into the trash fire that we call the US Economy, so that the flames rise higher. Did I say bright side? I meant fucked side. I’d prefer another four years before the system is irrevocably and quantitatively eased into an insolvent hell.
We’ve got zero or four years. That’s it. So make them good! There will be no revolution. There will only be disparate groups of crypto anarchists and polygamists, demagogues and dads who impotently drill their cocks into the doorknob of opportunity in search of a way out. But the dopamine harvest is too great of a lure. There are no metaphorical lashings for the phorical Sirens that lure men to their impotence. **Warning**, many beliefs and traditions of the Greek culture are at odds with what we now consider appropriate. Bad and good exist and exist everywhere. Please disregard any non-prescribed or approved allegorical metaphors you draw from the text. If you are confused, raise your hand and a volunteer from the ADL will come execute you.
In every way, things are exactly the same. The ultimate trad life is one of autonomy and certain death. Roving bands of rapists and allegory have been replaced by bankers brandishing compulsory opportunities in life and education and legacy. There is no purpose for women in a society without a future. Women are a scam.
I doubt Bitcoin will ever be below $10k again, but it is now an institutional hedge against the institution. Voting is irrelevant. Responsibility is an illusion. Race to the bottom and pray that the nerds never make it to Mars because it will wipe that smug look off their fucking face.
The Dodgers will beat the Rays in seven, but if they don’t, Tampa should be a blast! Either way, we’re going to take every cardboard cutout in the MLB and put them in a big pile and then we’re going to set them on fire. We have yet to see a company try to patent fire. I can’t wait.
A beautiful and brave good by thumbnail by Corgan.